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Controlling Schattie's Destiny



 
 
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Old August 24th 07, 12:46 PM posted to rec.skiing.alpine
Suzieflame
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Posts: 138
Default Controlling Schattie's Destiny


Schattie, I have decided to control your destiny.

These are the rules you will be living by from now on:-

1. For each day you post to this group, I have granted you permission
to be here, and directed you to post messages.

2. For each day you are away from this group, I have banished you and
you have obeyed my command to stay away.

3. Whenever you post to this group, you will make sure to claim that
everyone else posting to the group is either/or vile, malicious,
stalking, psychopath, liar, freak, except Bert Hoff and Jeff Davis.

4. Whenever you post to this group and do not follow the instruction
above, it is because I have given you permission to deviate.

5. Whenever you do not post to this group it is because youare
following rule (2).

6. If you make arrangements to meet someone from this group IRL, you
will do everything in your power to avoid actually meeting them,
including deliberately misunderstanding directions, running away,
playing emergency baseball, taking a 1500 mile moped ride and so on,
but you will pretend/claim it is for some perfectly logical reason.

7. If someone else makes/attempts to make arrangements to meet you
IRL, you are commanded to use obfuscation, bluster and redirection to
avoid accepting an explicit invitation. This includes asking for
verifiable ID, phone number etc.

8. If commenting on what amazing ski gear you get for free or at large
discount, you have my permission to pretend that you have a better
life than everyone else and assume that no-one can afford to pay full
price.

9. If someone else comments on their ski equipment, you are barred
from making any positive comment whatsoever about the equipment, the
price, or the skiing ability of the purchaser. If you do make a
positive comment it is because I have allowed you to.

I may add more new rules at my leisure, without telling you, and you
will react to my commands subliminally whether you know it or not.

Suzie
--
Suzieflame
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