Message to all my fans

I'm writing this message to all my fans while I'm sitting in front of
my cave in NH (BURP). I wanted to set the record straight about these
stupid sponsors, I've quit. (Ahkkkkkk!). I had a great time at the
Olympics in Innsbruck, no wait.....Prague......(cough) no oh yeah
Bogota, Colombia, that's it Bogota. Let it be said that Blodie never
saw a beer that he didn't like (Arrrgghhhhh!). Nike- those assholes
told me to "Just Do it".......I tried with every chick I met....I
didn't know they meant on skis. I quit Barilla because the *******s
told me I was eating all their pasta (phhhhhhtttttt). Chicks dig a stud
with a little meat on his bones, Ha! Atomic? I gave those mofo's all
the promotional exposure that could be imagined, everytime I wiped out,
I made sure that the cameras saw the atomic logo on my bases. To think
those *******s thought I was only worth $1.38 a week
(rrrriiiiiiiipppppp). They had this crazy idea that I was supposed to
build up a sweat (Boy, did I with the chicks).

Well on to the future, I got this great contract with Head at 2.76 per
week (TWICE Atomic's offer). I'll be skiing on the Head 360 which is
new technology - imagine that a metal ski and I designed it.
(pppphhhhtttttttrrrrrriiiiiiiippppppp). I also designed toilets, paper
towels - I picked up a lot of math and science in 8th
grade(BBBBBBUUUURRRRPPPPP). I also got this great package from P&J's
Body Shop in Nashua. I get free rust protection in my 20 year old
Subaru.

To my undying (and slightly thick) fans:

Marty - hey dewd, try chicks, they're more fun than skiing. Beer's good
too but you have to be 21 to do that.

Mary - What's all that "plonking" business? Not in your wildest dreams,
babe. Homey don't play that besides you're probably a dawg. You do have
one thing that I like in chicks...you're stupid.

Alex Heney - Hey bro - don't do me any favors. I can stand up for
myself. You are the only stupid asshole that comes off as a
sanctimonius fool no matter what side you take. Here's a little secret
- just because it's on the Internet doesn't mean it's true. Experience
is only meaningless to idiots that don't have any. I'd tell you to
read a book now and then but you probably don't know how to work the
pages.

Two Buddha - Some day your prince will come ..... only his name will be
Bubba

Blodie wrote:

Marty - hey dewd, try chicks, they're more fun than skiing. Beer's good
too but you have to be 21 to do that.

Damn! I knew you were a lurker here. Blodie, I'll try girls and beer
(not necessarily in that order). I'll have more time for that since
the ski season is almost over. Not sure what the wife will think about
that... Oh well, she doesn't approve of my lust for skiing either, so,
no biggie I guess.

Hey, thanks again for the advice. Looking forward to you racing next
year on the Heads!

Later.
--
Marty (fan of Bode since..., well for a while now)