How do you balance skiing, work, and family?

I've probably said it a million times - so please excuse one more time. I'm
not a successful racer at all, but ski a lot and try to enter at least one
or two ski marathons a year (for the past 4 years or so only). But I have
friends and acquaintences that were, in previous lives, before kids, and
serious careers, successful HS and collegiate racers. I've seen them pretty
much GIVE UP the sport. My theory is that they have only one attitude
towards skiing - to race and win. Any other level of effort or success is
unaccepatable and if they can't "do it right" they don't do it. This is
unfortunate. I often wonder what they think of us mid-packers who obviously
spend way too much time and money on top notch gear, just for fun.

My suggestion to new parents and those of you young in your career and
family: take an entirely new attitude toward skiing. It's not "training".
It's not preparing for a race. It's just skiing. It's just spending time
for self R&R, and/or with your kids goofing in the snow. It's coaching the
little kids. It's getting away for 30 minutes (or 3 hours) by yourself
because every parent needs that. It's getting involved in organizing and
running a fun-oriented program or school ski club. Picnics, bonfires,
roasting marshmallows. Stopping in the woods and building a couple of seats
to sit in to eat the snacks and hot cocoa. It's shuffling along with the
kids not even worrying about technique except to teach "tricks" to get up
and down the hills. Improptu games on skis. There is no need to carve out
time, it's just your lifestyle, no different than pushing your kid on the
swing in the park. My own kids vacillate between racing and being
anti-racing - but at the very least they participate, goofing around on
their skis doing teenage socializing on the snow. They could be in the mall
doing the same thing - walking around gossiping, joking, being lazy, but
they're doing it on skis at least and do occasionally exert themselves!
This is all very vague, but reflects some things that have gone through my
head over the past 10 or 15 years of parenthood.

Camilo

Bjorn A. Payne Diaz wrote:
Well, you hit the nail on the head for me. It's doable, but a major
disruption to drive 40-60 min one way to go ski. So in Dec, I usually
did one 60 min local run and one 60 min local hill bounding per week
with running....and I don' t like running. Weekends were skiing. I
came
out of Dec in poor shape compared to my competitors. I have the same
driving problem with mt biking. I love it, but I road bike so I don't
have to throw the bike on the car and drive.

So when you hear me bitching about no snow, it's because no snow
means
more driving or get out of shape. Last night was a great workout, but
I
also cut out of work 2.5 hrs early.

I've watched Brian and Abby combine workouts, so one babysits and the
other goes for a workout and then they switch. If you could figure
out
a combined activity with your wife, it helps. My wife will ski if
it's
relatively flat, but otherwise snow-shoes, bikes, hot-tubs, reads,
etc
while I'm out skiing. A saint she is, and yes skiers are envious.

Obviously, if you can get out of bed at 4 am and do your workout
while
others are sleeping, that works....for about two weeks. Early morning
workouts are really hard on the entire system. I've done it, but man
it
takes motivation and saps energy reserves, so beware of getting sick,
burnt out, or becoming a real *******. I also found the benefits of
coffee are over-rated and shortlived.

Jay Wener

Jay,

You hit it right on the head for me as well. This year I have skied
only two nights a week when I have to drive to Troll or Elm. It takes
a total committment to take 3.5 to 4 hrs to ski, that includes the
drive to either of these places, plus the ski. I also am with you on
the Mtn Biking front. It is easier to road bike out the door vs
driving 25 to 30 minutes to get to Lebanon, etc.

As far as the work, family, ski, church balance for my self. My wife
doesn't ski, but she has her own hobbies (writing, beading). She know
that skiing/biking is important to me so she has her nights alone with
the girls/ladies and I have my nights for skiing. The bigger issue for
me is my second grade and seventh grade sons, and their homework. For
some reason they have become very accustomed to having Dad help them
with their Homework. They know the minute I walk in the door that it
is time to get to the Homework. Last night I got Home @ 8:00 and
helped with homework for 1 1/2 hours.

I think the real answer is there is no correct answer on how to balance
your life. You need to look what is important for you and figure out
how to fit it all in. It may mean your not as competitive as you were
when you were 25, but at least you are out there enjoying yourself.

Bruce Fiedler

Isn't that *mandatory* maternity leave?

Gary Jacobson
Rosendale, NY

"Terje Mathisen" wrote in message
...
John Forrest Tomlinson wrote:
I wouldn't be able to balance all these things and as a consequence
don't have children.

You probably live in the wrong country. :-)

With regular 8-hour workdays, 5+ vacation weeks and a year of
paternity/maternity leave, it is _much_ easier to combine
work+family+sports in Scandinavia.

Terje

Originally Posted by steve

....but I'm fortunate to have an awesome trail system 15 minutes away (Gatineau park), so I can jam a good solid night ski in and be back by 11-11:30 if I do things right.

I'm an ex-Ottawa-ite and miss the Gatineaus terribly! That's basically where I got into skiing. Fortunately we still have family up there! I'd love to move back someday.

Thanks to all for the extremely helpful and inspirational comments! I'm traveling for work today (although on the drive from Boston to Montreal I did get in a two-hour ski at Waterville Valley) so this will be brief for now.

To be clear I don't really care about results or performance but would like to do the odd race/loppet and treat some of my skiing as 'training' because for me the real enjoyment of the sport happens when you put at least some effort into technique and fitness.

Cheers and see you at Keski! Last time I did it it was the 'Gatineau 55' and still had the deadly McClosky climb... I must be a parent now, because I'm starting with 'in my day...' (spoken with croaky grandpa simpson voice).

er

Gary Jacobson wrote:
Isn't that *mandatory* maternity leave?

Nothing mandatory about it except that a few weeks are reserved for the
father: I.e. if the father doesn't stay at home for those weeks, but the
mom does, then they don't get any benefits (i.e. paid leave) for those
particular weeks.

If both mom & dad want to work normally the entire year, and pay for
someone else to babysit etc, that's perfectly legal, just very, _very_,
unusual.

Terje

--
-
"almost all programming can be viewed as an exercise in caching"

Hi Eraas,

Welcome to the world of sleep deprivation. I have a 15-month-old
daughter, my own business as a computer consultant, and I'm a member of the
Subaru Factory Team. It has been a big challenge to find balance, but what
I've found in my own experience as well as coaching others, is that the most
important thing is to plan, the next most important thing is to be flexible,
and finally, it is important to find ways to combine workouts with family
time.

Baby joggers and pulks are great ways to fit in a little training in
with some fathering time. Especially when your baby is young, don't expect
to get out more than 45 minutes. I remember getting out a few times for
2-hour runs with my daughter when she was napping a lot, but these days when
it is cold and she is more active, 45 minutes or an hour is about max time
before she gets bored. We often run for 20-45 minutes, stop at a park and
play for a while, and then run home. She also likes to dance around and
play when I do a short circuit at home. Neither of these is exactly an
ideal workout, but at least I'm getting something in, and I think these
short workouts help. It also teaches her that being active is an important
part of life.

My wife and I have found that it is good to take turns doing our
activity - I'll go out and ski early morning, she'll go out and ski or run
when I take over. That seems to work pretty well, but we have always tended
to do our workout stuff separately. We have also figured out that it is not
a bad thing to have someone else take care of the little one while both of
us do our activity - alone or together.

It is very hard to manage all of this, and I've found that athletic
activity tends to take a back seat to other endeavors if you don't have a
plan in mind. Once you have a specific workout planned and a time set, it
becomes much easier to perform because you and your wife expect it. If you
just wake up every day and think, "I will ski some time today", some time
won't come along until 8PM....

There is no magic solution. It is balance. But it is worth it, and if
training is one of your priorities, you can make it work with a happy family
life as well as a successful career.

Good Luck,

Nathan
www.nsavage.com

"eraas" wrote in message
...

I raced in the 80's and early 90's (can remember the advent of skating)
but have been out of it for the last few years due to finishing school,
starting new jobs, getting married, and moving to a region (Boston)
without a lot of snow (but an excellent nearby XC facility with
snow-making!)

My wife has not been a skiier and I've enjoyed doing lots of other
stuff and not living the nomadic lifestyle that my various sports
(cycling, XC skiing) used to entail. Now that we have a four month old
baby, however, it's become a lot more important to me to create a place
for these great activities in our household and also, as an older
first-time parent (40yrs - 50 when our little boy will be 10) I really
want to stay as active as possible. I've heard a lot of people say
that all their sports stopped when they had a kid but for me it just
got a lot more important (hmmm. just when you start to have *no* spare
time, wouldn't it be great to re-start a time-consuming and expensive
hobby? )

Right now with a demanding (but somewhat flexible and self-paced) job,
a newborn, and a wife who wants do lot of other stuff than ski I am
trying to figure out how I can schedule some kind of regular skiing
regimen. I'm lucky in that, although Boston is unreliable in terms of
snow, the Westin ski track makes snow and does an excellent job of
providing winter-round skiing. It's about a 20 min drive from us so a
1hr ski is about a two hour commitment.

The must be other forum dwellers who have dealt with this challenge,
and I would very much appreciate any tips or strategies that have
worked well for others. Do you go at night? Do you get up very early
in the morning? How do you schedule weekends?

I think my wife will get more into skiing as it becomes something our
child can participate in. I really miss the sport and also feel like
it is a great way to stay healthy through middle age


--
eraas