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Scottie's last day on Earth
RIIIIING!
SH: "Suicide Hotline" SA: "My name is Scott Abraham, and I'm considering suicide." SH: Scott Abraham? You've been on Suicide Watch for months. It's about time you called. It says on my computer that you own guns. Do you have a loaded gun in your hand? SA: Yes. I always carry a gun. SH: Good. Listen carefully. Put the muzzle in your mouth, and point it up to the roof of your mouth, and carefully squeeze the trigger. SA: Aren't you supposed to be talking me out of suicide? SH: Not you. It says on my computer that you're a worthless piece of ****, with no redeeming qualities. It says here that even losers look down on you. I even get a bonus if you kill yourself while talking to me. It says that you've ****ed your mother, your brother, sheep, and carney freaks. You have no friends, and you live in your mother's basement. Something about being an oxygen thief, and you enjoy imitating a talking urinal. The only good thing about you is that homeless winos that are panhandling can carry signs that say, "At least I'm not Scott Abraham." SH: now, do you have that gun in your mouth? I'm trying to earn that bonus. My T-shirt says, "This shirt is the ultimate power in the universe." |
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