how to prepare for the ski season

This is sent to remind skiers and boarders how to prepare for
the ski season, and to assist non-skiers in determining whether
they wish to take up the sport.

1. Visit your local butcher and pay 30 euros to sit in the walk-in freezer
for half an hour. Afterwards, burn two 50 euro bills to warm up.

2. Go to the nearest ice rink and walk across the ice 20 times in
your ski boots, carrying two pair of skis, accessory bag and poles.

3. For ski boot simulation, put a pebble in your street shoes and tighten
a clamp around your toes.

4. Buy a pair of gloves, and immediately throw one of them away.

5. Go to McDonald's and insist on paying £6.50 for a hamburger.
Be sure to wait in the longest line.

6. Attach a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket and ride a motorcycle
fast enough to make the ticket lacerate your face.

7. Drive slowly for five hours - anywhere - as long as it's in a snowstorm

8. Fill a blender with ice, leave the cover off, hit the pulse button and
let
the spray blast your face.

9. Dress up in as many sets of clothes as you own and then proceed to take
them off, with your gloves on, because you have to go to the bathroom.

10. Repeat all of the above, every Saturday and Sunday, until ski season.

Ahhh - won't be long now.....


"Paul" wrote in message
...
This is sent to remind skiers and boarders how to prepare for
the ski season, and to assist non-skiers in determining whether
they wish to take up the sport.

1. Visit your local butcher and pay 30 euros to sit in the walk-in freezer
for half an hour. Afterwards, burn two 50 euro bills to warm up.

2. Go to the nearest ice rink and walk across the ice 20 times in
your ski boots, carrying two pair of skis, accessory bag and poles.

3. For ski boot simulation, put a pebble in your street shoes and tighten
a clamp around your toes.

4. Buy a pair of gloves, and immediately throw one of them away.

5. Go to McDonald's and insist on paying £6.50 for a hamburger.
Be sure to wait in the longest line.

6. Attach a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket and ride a motorcycle
fast enough to make the ticket lacerate your face.

7. Drive slowly for five hours - anywhere - as long as it's in a snowstorm

8. Fill a blender with ice, leave the cover off, hit the pulse button and
let
the spray blast your face.

9. Dress up in as many sets of clothes as you own and then proceed to take
them off, with your gloves on, because you have to go to the bathroom.

10. Repeat all of the above, every Saturday and Sunday, until ski season.

You forgot:

9a (advanced): Smear a block of butter onto the bottom of your boots and
practice walking (facing outwards) down a steep ladder in the dark before
proceeding to item 9.


9. Dress up in as many sets of clothes as you own and then proceed to take
them off, with your gloves on, because you have to go to the bathroom.

In message , Nick
Hounsome writes
You forgot:

9a (advanced): Smear a block of butter onto the bottom of your boots and
practice walking (facing outwards) down a steep ladder in the dark before
proceeding to item 9.


9. Dress up in as many sets of clothes as you own and then proceed to take
them off, with your gloves on, because you have to go to the bathroom.

Next, try putting your clothes on before your boots.

--
Sue ];(