12-step program for free-heelers

I promised you some of this.



1.We admitted we were powerless over our ski poles—that our turns had become unmanageable.

2.Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3.Made a decision to unfix our heels and our lives over to the care of Ullr as we understood snow.

4.Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5.Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs....

6.Were entirely ready to put duct tape on all these defects of character.

7.Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8.Made a list of all persons whose lines we had poached, and became willing to poach all their lines again and for all time.

9.Ran over the tails of the skis of such people wherever possible, except when to run over the shovels would injure them or others even more.

10.Continued to eat ramen and lentils and when we were smelly promptly put on patchouli oil.

11.Sought through midnight hiking and rope-ducking to improve our conscious contact with Ullr as we understood Her, praying only for unlimited untracked as knowledge of Her Will for us and the power to free-heel powder-eights under the lift before the ski patrol tracks things out at 8 AM.

12.Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to those addicted, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.


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morrison