As your imperial leader with the penchant for peeder, Vote Wrangler,
and intergalactic space ranger-first class, i hereby create and
endorse this new award called the HUGE scrotum award. This award goes
to the kook with the largest nut sack and package as determined by me.
I urge all known kooks to email me a picture of your sack and erect
shaft so i may make the proper calculations.